Earth to Wanna

We spent the last weekend in Aragam Bay, which was once a sweet little surf town until it all got swept away one december day...I've kid of fallen in love with it, as trashed as it still is, there's something about the place that draws me there. Not just beach, or the warm water, ot the hot surfers or the holiday feeling, but something else. I feel a freedom there that I haven't felt in the last 5 weeks up in Akkaraipatu, Kalmonai,and Ampara. I was able to swim in a bikini. I met some funny Euro girls who gave themselves indian names. They live in tree houses on the beach. You can get pancakes for breakfast. People do bonfires on the beach at night. There's one restaurant that makes pizza. Last weekend was full moon, and paper lantern sculptures waved in the wind on the beach. I went swimming at night, and played in the mellow waves. I was beginning to freak out a little up in Ampara, and the sea water washed it away... did me well. Just running around giving out love, or trying not to start a fight in a camp when you bring something in, or the heat, or the staring, or the lack of anything to eat that isn't fried or pure sugar, or not having the right clothes, or someone to hug, or somewhere to retreat to....I think i got a little tapped out.

Bill Clinton came to Kalmonai yesterday, and I could have gone up and taken some pics with him. High visibility. But instead I opted for hitching a ride to Colombo for the weekend. I felt like shit and had to get OUT. I went directly to the sushi restaurant. In 2 days, I've had sushi, soba, about 12 frappecinos, chocolate croissants, tuna sandwiches, went dancing, got a pedicure, read girly mags, got a haircut, a massage, a body wrap, a facial, a chocolate cheesecake, more sushi, basked in the beauty of a broadbad internet connection and all its glory, played pool, went to the roof of 3 hotels, dragged a chair in an elevator and took it to the top, watched 3 dvds, drank Jhonnie Walker, beer, singapore slings, yelled at tuk tuk drivers, bummed a light from a boy I thought was cute until I saw his bad shoes. All the joys of the big city. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty good right about now. Still a city girl at heart.

I've felt like I've been slacking the last week. There's just too much to be done, too many camps, and too much distance between them all. No matter how much I do, I feel defeated, and I just want to crawl up in a ball and go to sleep instead of going out into the camps. It's hard to separate myself from the fact that the sheer mass of this operation is just mad, and people, already 6 months in camps I can barely spend an entire day in, will be waiting there longer for jobs and homes. I can see why there is such a high burn out rate in this Industry, and why UN agencies put their workers on R+R every 4 weeks. So I'm keeping my goals simple in small, and get back to the roots of why I cam here instead of making a big production to try and save the world- cause it aint gonna happen. But I can do little things..bit by bit. Last week, I contacted an organization that fits people with free prosthetic limbs. We hooked up a some amputees from our camps, rented a van to get them to the center a 6 hours away, and set them and a family member for 2 weeks, where they'll will be fitted with a prosthetic legs and arms. Hopefully they'll be able to get back to the paddy fields in a month or so. It's amazing what's available, what people have to give, what people need, and I can say it does satisfy me to be able put the two together silently. Because honestly I'm not sure what I'm doing....I'm no psychologist or doctor or releif expert. I just have a couple ideas and a cell phone, and here I am...Where am I again?